Sci Fi Quotes and Sayings

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By: Jack Handey
	I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Category: Sci Fi - War Tags: War World Sci Fi Mankind Login to add tags!
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By: Jack Handey
	I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
Category: Sci Fi - Solar System Tags: Planets Domination Solar System Login to add tags!
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anonymous!
	Teal'c: The propulsion system and communication array have been damaged beyond repair. Col. O'Neill: Ah that's good because according to my calculations we are roughly in the middle of…nowhere. Give or take. Exodus Season 4 Episode 22
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anonymous!
	For me science fiction is a way of thinking, a way of logic that bypasses a lot of nonsense. It allows people to look directly at important subjects.
Category: Sci Fi - Thought Tags: Thought Sci Fi Thinking Login to add tags!
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anonymous!
	Hathor: How do I contact the Asgard so that we may align ourselves with them? Jack: Roswell, it's a little place in New Mexico.
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anonymous!
	Col. O'Neill: Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of them. Teal'c: I shall attempt to translate one, O'Neill. A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's... nose drips. [Teal'c bursts into loud laughter. Everyone else stares.]
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anonymous!
	Dr. Jackson: What just happened? Col. O'Neill: Apparently we said hello, insulted each other, and broke for recess. -Fair Game, Season 3 Episode 3
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anonymous!
	Col. O'Neill: The combined IQ of Earth might go up a few points having two Carters around. - Point of View Season 3 Episode 6
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anonymous!
	Col. O'Neill: All right, I gotta know. Dr. Jackson: Yes, I'm about to activate it. Col. O'Neill: No, no, no, not that. What the hell does "kree" mean? Dr. Jackson: Well, actually it means a lot of things. Loosely translated it means "attention", "listen up", "concentrate"… Col. O'Neill: "Yoo-hoo?" Dr. Jackson: Yes, in a manner of speaking. Point of View Season 3 Episode 6
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anonymous!
	[O'Neill and Jackson are trying to remember the alien password Boch used to open his ship] Dr. Jackson: Barockna! Col. O'Neill: Gesundheit. Deadman Switch Episode 3 Season 7
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anonymous!
	Col. O'Neill: So Teal'c, how does one Goa'uld fire weapons from several directions? Teal'c: Tacs. Col. O'Neill: Tac'nik'tels? Teal'c: Tacuchnatagamuntorons. [Jack stares at him] Teal'c: Tacs. Deadman Switch Season 3 Episode 7
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By: Jack 0'Neil
	Ah, trees, trees, and more trees. What a wonderfully green universe we live in, eh? Demons Season 3 Episode 8
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anonymous!
	Teal'c: This is Colonel O'Neill. He is much loved by Apophis. [To O'Neill] You may address the warriors. Col. O'Neill: Apophis wanted me to tell you that you've all been doing a wonderful job. Couldn't ask for more. Well done. But, he also wanted me to tell you the whole…invasion of the Tau'ri idea has been canceled due to…rain. -Rules of Engagement Season 3 Episode 9
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By: Jack O-Neil
	How is a needle in my butt going to get water out of my ears? -Foothold Season 3 Episode 14
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anonymous!
	Narim: No harm will come to you. The Tollan will guarantee it. Col. O'Neill: Is that a 'money back if you're not completely alive' guarantee? -Pretense Season 3 Episode 15
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anonymous!
	Maj. Carter: The probe indicates a sustainable atmosphere. Temperature 78 degrees Fahrenheit. Barometric pressure is normal. Dr. Jackson: No obvious signs of civilization. Maj. Carter: P4X-884 looks like an untouched paradise, sir. Teal'c: Appearances may be deceiving. Col. O'Neill: One man's ceiling is another man's floor. Dr.Jackson: A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell. Col. O'Neill: Never run with…scissors? Urgo Season 3 Episode 16
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anonymous!
	Gen. Hammond: Colonel, you don't seem to understand how serious this matter is. You and your team have committed a court-martiable offense. Col. O'Neill: To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested. And Teal'c…well he really didn't say anything but I could tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he cocked his head and sort of raised his eyebrow… [he demonstrates, raising his eyebrow] -Shades of Grey Season 3 Episode 18
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anonymous!
	Maj. Carter: Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean, something like five hundred million billion just passed through you. Col. O'Neill: No matter how dense? (later) Col. O'Neill: Hey. If you'd been listening, you'd know that Nintendos pass through everything. Everything. Crystal Skull Season 3 Episode 21
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anonymous!
	[Teal'c enters the airlock and the door closes] Col. O'Neill: Say something. Teal'c: One small step for Jaffa. Col. O'Neill: Very nice. -Nemesis Season 3 Episode 22
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anonymous!
	Col. O'Neill: So, what's your impression of Alar? Teal'c: That he is concealing something. Col. O'Neill: Like what? Teal'c: I am unsure. He is concealing it. -The Other Side Season 4 Episode 2
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anonymous!
	Anise: You may call me Anise. Dr. Jackson: Anise? Anise: It means "Noble Strength". Dr. Jackson: I'm Daniel. It means, uh, "God is my judge". Col. O'Neill: I'm Jack. It means... What's in the box? -Upgrades Season 4 Episode 3
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By: Jack O-Neil
	Just remember, I retired. You wanted me back
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anonymous!
	Col. O'Neill: How do you know that? Dr. Markov: I have read extensive files on each of you. Col. O'Neill: How? Dr. Markov: I learned to read English when I was six. It was not difficult. Col. O'Neill: …Russian humor. -Watergate Season 4 Episode 7
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anonymous!
	Dr. Jackson: You know, I've never been on a stakeout before. Shouldn't we have donuts or something? Point of No Return Season 4 Episode 11
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anonymous!
	Dr. Jackson: We were hoping you could kinda... um, like... beam them out. Jacob: Beam them out? What am I, Scotty? Tangent Season 4 Episode 12
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anonymous!
	Teal'c: On Chulak, when a great warrior retires from the field of battle it is custom to sing a song of lament. [Hammond looks at him expectantly] Fortunately, we are not on Chulak. Chain Reaction Season 4 Episode 15
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anonymous!
	Gen. Hammond: What's it doing? [About the MALP] Maj. Carter: Flying, sir. Col. O'Neill: MALPs can't fly. Dr. Jackson: Apparently they can. Col. O'Neill: Shouldn't there be a memo on this stuff? -Entity Season 4 Episode 20
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